
12 agosto 2008
upside downtown

all action is performative. all choices are conscious. go read some mauss.
10 agosto 2008
el amor o la amistad
09 agosto 2008
he is who i thought he was
07 agosto 2008
mis chicos
04 agosto 2008
noches gigantes

30 julio 2008
22 julio 2008
pela corta

21 julio 2008
spurlock the bilagaana

Within the first minute of the show he used the phrase “rock the rez” and any sense of unbiased watching went completely out the window.
My positive bias was further bolstered when he went to buy a sheep. Unfortunately the sign just said “Sheep” rather than “Fat Sheep 4 Sale.” Later he helped to slaughter it, and was the person to clean out/off the stomach after butchering. Now, fortunately, I was never give that job, but I could related to the faces and comments he made in response to the smell. I remember being seated about 3 feet from a big silver bowl full of sheep intestines at the Squaw Dance, and well, I didn’t have much of an appetite after that. Except for fry bread, of course.

But of course all was not lovely reminiscing with Navajo tacos, Shiprock Fair rodeo, running to the sun, Diné College paraphernalia, and Benallys and Begays and Yazzies. What made the show good (and unlike Going Tribal) was the focus on the less picturesque sides of rez life. Poverty and language loss were key themes, as well as culture loss and the feeling of living between two worlds.
Spurlock did a decent job of demonstrating the rampant poverty. Though there were no scenes of completely downtrodden neighborhoods, he did mention many rez residences’ lack of running water and electricity, himself living in a hogan with neither (and also noted that now hogans are used primarily for ceremonies rather than living). Additionally, unemployment was a major factor in the program. Spurlock himself tried to find a job, interviewed a director at the Navajo job placement program, and spoke with a young man who said, “there are no jobs on the rez, its just hard, you know.” Eventually Morgan got a job at a tire shop, making $25 a day, but this development was tempered with the fact that the son of the family with whom he was staying was resigned to leave the rez to find a job after not earning enough on the rodeo circuit.
Also appreciated was Spurlock’s attempt to learn the language. He mentioned how tough it was and the previously mentioned son said, “I’ve lived here my whole life, and I don’t even know it.” Spurlock replied, “How am I going to learn it in 30 days?” Especially relevant for me was a fluke in editing: One shot is of Morgan trying to pronounce the Navajo word for horse, which Leap has mentioned a number of times that he has problems with. In the end, Morgan learned a phrase to say to Grandma (shiimazi) which was touching.
I’ve seen the show only a few times, so I’m only marginally aware of the format, but it was rather informative, with lots of Michael Moore-esque animations to illustrate facts. And while the animations were stupid, the facts that Spurlock, et. al decided to include I found rather responsible. General history, treaties, language loss, meaning behind ceremonies, and much more were addressed in a factual manner.
He did use the word “Indian” and I know that the most common nomenclature for Indigenous North Americans seems to be Indian, or American Indian, but I choose to use Native American. And this is not an uninformed choice, but is based on what a few select, close Navajo friends told me they preferred. But I digress…..
During the episode Spurlock explained to the family with whom he was living that his reason for coming was his (and presumably popular) lack of knowledge of indigenous North Americans. He explained that school history classes don’t do justice to the subject, so he wanted to learn from them so that he could teach others. And in fact, I even learned a few things from the show:
• sheep’s throats should be cut facing the east because good things come with the sun from the east.
• An 1868 treaty with the U.S. gave rights to use the San Juan river’s water to the U.S. Government in exchange for the U.S. accepting responsibility to make sure basic necessities were provided for the Navajo.
• Running toward the sun is not just something that takes place during kinaaldas (which were sadly absent—follow your nose!), but many Navajos do it every morning to start each day with a clear mind.

At the end, he did get a little idealistic (verging on exotic) and pondered of what might be described as “the bilagaana world” and “the Navajo world,” “Why can’t we have both? Why can’t we move forward in this world and still have the values and heritage that make us who we are?” In the end, I came away thinking that his demonstration of both the positive and negative aspects of the rez really gave a good picture of, as the Admiral would say, “Beauty that hurts.”
07 julio 2008
dos en un dia
belleza
All that has harmed me will leave me
leaving my body cool once more.
Within me today
I shall be well.
All fever will come from me
and leave me,leave my brow cool.
I will hear todaya
nd see today
and be my own true self today.
This is the day I shall walk.
This is the day when all that is ill will leave me
and I shall be as I was,as I walk in a cool body.
This day onwards I shall be happy
for nothing will prevent me.I
shall walk and beauty will go before me.
I shall walk and beauty will be behind me.
I shall walk and beauty will be above me.
I shall walk and beauty will be beneath me.
I shall walk and beauty will surround me.
I shall walk and speak of beauty.
For the rest of my days I shall be whole,
for all things are beautiful.
sa'a naghai bik'e hozho
02 julio 2008
gimnasta de mantequilla
on the side of the carton was an olympic athlete profile, that of Shawn Johnson, a gymnast from Des Moines. First of all, we found her name, what with its nice rhyme scheme, rather amusing...and moved on to more ridiculous and insulting conversations about the young, innocent, and surely undeserving gymnast.
well, today karma is not turning a blind eye. it seems that she will be immortalized in a way that really means something to me. not with her face on a coin, or a bronze statue, but like Princess Kay of the Milky Way and Tiger Woods, Ms. Johnson will be preserved, at least for 2 weeks, in butter. It only comforts me that its Sarah Pratt, not the Duff Dog that's handling the task.
01 julio 2008
coca por favor!
you really think you're going to eradicate coca production and consumption?
ok, usually i agree with the UN. Kofi & Co. seem to generally (but by no means always) have a handle on reality. but this is just ridiculous.
I will control myself here, and not launch into a 5 page long rant on the disastrous ideas that are the "war on drugs." let's just suffice to say that when North Atlantic nations start sticking there drug sniffing dogs in places they don't belong, things like La Violencia in Colombia start to happen.
Sure cocaine is bad. Other coca derived drugs are too. But obviously, the U.S.'s policies are not working, as demonstrated by recent WHO findings. Maybe they way to stop its use is to create a world in which people are not faced with such awful realities that they turn to drug use. Ideaslistic? sure. But not any more far-fetched than thinking coca production can be totally eradicated.
comida, politica, y porque no me gusta reagan
but today i found a great write up on New American Media, called The Rise of Food Fascism: Coup in Bolivia, which does a great job of explaining the referendums and what they actually mean, and connecting it to world politics, neoliberal economic policies put in place in the 80s, agrarian reform, and what's happened in the agribusiness world since then.
24 junio 2008
los perdidos
The Lost Tribe of the Amazon
but at least it was being used for anti-logging (presumably anti exploitation?) purposes.
16 junio 2008
un plan
19 year old #1
"I've got a plan-
I'm going to get my shit together,
get myself organized
and get a job."
19 year old #2
"That's a good plan"
11 junio 2008
el mundo es muy pequeno

09 junio 2008
los russos

la cuidad y el campo
03 junio 2008
mas sobre papas
02 junio 2008
mis cosas favoritas
it seems chile & peru are arguing over the origins of the potato & pisco.
but shouldn't we all just be thanking the pacha mama by pouring one out for her?
echamos una papa para la pachamama!
01 junio 2008
lucha libre
29 mayo 2008
el amor y futbol
23 mayo 2008
pura vida
21 mayo 2008
cariños
19 mayo 2008
scammellot!!!
16 mayo 2008
numeros
15 mayo 2008
musica catolica en bolivia
07 mayo 2008
telephonos son malos
03 mayo 2008
lola, el segund dia
but i pulled my machismo out and didn't.
02 mayo 2008
inspiracion desde tomas

por telephono
30 abril 2008
el estado y la nacion
26 abril 2008
too bad they don't play tom petty in gay bars
i took my shirt off in public for the first time in almost 2 years last night.
after sushi, cocktails, and chocolate pudding pops at ee's, we went to the green lantern for the "free drinks in your underwear" special. on the walk from adams morgan to logan square we discussed public nudity, and i brought up the spare rib where crazy n & i exchanged clothing on stage. i wasn't totally comfortable with it at the time. i remember having long discussions with scamz about it, and concluding that i was not opposed to nudity in art as long as it was not exploitative or gratuitous.
not long after i ended up in undies with googly eyes in a film scamz made.
then 2 years ago, i ended up at 241 with sparks, paper telephone, anti-fiendism, a bathing rock, and some tom petty. suddenly faith had negotiated a shirtless porch, and i was sucked in briefly. despite the fact that i was with good, comfortable friends, i regretted it later. maybe it was just a charged atmosphere.
and then last night...the green lantern offered free drinks, and we accepted. on the walk there, i wasn't entirely sure i would actually take off my clothes. but we got inside, and ee took off his shirt. j followed. the bartender then mentioned that delf & i could also get free drinks for stripping down to undies. so we took our shirts off, and he said the pants would have to go too. so we obliged, after commenting that the boys had not taken theirs off. so the bartender insisted they did too. so the four of us, minus clothing, plus free drinks walked away to our table. we had a brief conversation about how comfortable and natural it felt to all be standing around a table in nothing but undies and shoes, and then didn't mention it again.
not long after man #1 approached us and told delf & i that we were "pioneers" because he had never seen women in their undies there before. he shook our hands. later, another man, fully clothed, came over and complimented delf & i on being "sexy" and he told us he liked our shoes. of course he had to preface the whole thing with "i'm gay, but you guys are sexy. and i appreciate that." hmmm... maybe he's holding himself to a little too homonormative of a standard? embrace the fluidity man!
15 abril 2008
mi camisa

i unzipped my jacket a bit.
salud. dignidad. justicia.
at least i chose an appropriate shirt today.
14 abril 2008
noticias desde el fin de semana



02 abril 2008
las estudiantes catholicas
yep, it took me over a week to realize i know one of the "catholic school girls" arrested in Chicago on Easter for their anti-war protest at the Holy Name Cathedral. i guess little bird is making a name for herself. i've been forwarded correspondence, and she seems as well as possible. i don't know whether to be inspired, or scared. in any event, i'm rather taken by her performative way of doing things.
i've grown calm in my old age. i now highly doubt i'll ever live up to my "most likely to be arrested in a protest" fame of high school. i'm not code pink material these days. at least i launched a successful attack on school policies and got 5 lovely people little reimbursement checks they so deserved. maybe that just means i'm more of a policy rather than street activist. on the other hand, it makes me feel a bit better to know that at least i'm still connected enough to the community that i have friends in media-attention-worthy places. i just hope all turns out well for her. she's a pretty amazing woman.
31 marzo 2008
recomendaciones de libros: Colombia


27 marzo 2008
nuestra marca es crisis

At the time, I appreciated this answer. I’ve always felt that in documentary, arguments are best made by lying out the information and (though it is clearly editied and positions) letting the audience reach their own conclusions. Basically, the opposite of Michael Moore’s brand of leading the audience along. I think there’s much to be said for trusting the intelligence of your audience.
I watched the firm for a second time, and with 3 years’ more knowledge of the history, culture, politics, and neoliberal positioning of the Andean nation, my feelings are a little different. I still appreciate Rachel’s answer and position, but I don’t believe the film does enough to provide the audience a solid base from which to judge Goni. His role in the privatization of natural gas in
I realize a feature length doc. Cannot necessarily fully survey a nation’s neoliberal history as well as look intricately at a particular election and candidate, but I can’t help vut feel a little slighted by being given the opportunity to “decide for myself” without the necessary background to do so.
Or maybe I just feel vengeful.
25 marzo 2008
tobago

18 marzo 2008
las estrellas
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This is one of those rare times when your empathy could undo you unless you adhere to the following guidelines. 1. Squelch any attraction you might have to fascinating ruins, sexy decay, or appalling beauty. 2. If you have been sucked into the sphere of a good-looking monster or seductive tyrant, yank yourself free. 3. Break your gaze the instant you sense you're falling under the sway of a flaming narcissist. 4. Suppress the temptation to think this thought: "I'm bored with my hell; I want to hang out in *your* hell for a change."
I think it means its time to say goodbye to mr. reganomics...
06 marzo 2008
egg foucault*
but in a class of 9 women and 1 man, the conversation evolved into gendered discipline. and i realized that in many instances women become responsible for the discipline of men. motherhood is perhaps the most prevalent example, but wives, girlfriends, teachers, etc. all play a role. not to say that this dynamic is always gendered, but women are often the parties looked to for maintenance of discipline.
and its something i've certainly internalized. with my former crew of boys, i often took on the role of sheparding home (especially after blondies), making sure no one got in fights. it was i who discouraged honking at women walking down the street (which of course has multiple layers of stuff going on). and i was always the one pushing for civilized things like brunches, and grocery shopping, and limiting the stroh consumed (which i would argue has a direct correlation with lack of discipline).
and so, in a way, i feel the need to apologize for letting all the subconscious gendered disciplining factors invade my personality. but on the other hand, apologizing only serves to reinforce the discipline i've already found myself in. sometimes, the uncomfortable places are the important ones. sometimes, its better to let people find their own way than to lead them. and so, i will not be disappointed in myself, despite my attention to discipline.
instead i will treat myself to a caribbean vacation.
next time i write, it will be with a tan (or sunburn)
*props to Val for the brilliant nickname...or was it Mags?
05 marzo 2008
plagas
i had a rather emotionally rough sunday night. accompanied by a sudden termite infestation. one moment i was was sitting on my couch, the next i go into the bedroom and there are about 15 bugs swarming around my light fixture. in the bathroom the sink was filled with them, and their moulted wings covered the floor. i spent the evening being resentful, swatting, crying, Raid-ing, and talking for 5+ hours.
i eventually recovered from both. after a few conversations with r___ and r___ (not r____), my mom, and some deep thinking, i've realized i have no reason to be guilty or regretful. and i believe there's no sense in resentment. i was in a much better mental state for about 24 hours.
then last night, i fell asleep reading foucault at 9ish, and woke up at midnight to a kitchen that was totally flooded. the rain poured all day and eventually seeped through the foundation it seems. i put the de-humidifier in the kitchen and hoped it would help a little. this morning, the pooling water and been transformed by that wonderful machine to just sopping wet carpet.
but, as i went to turn on my computer for the conference call with elsa, i had some problems. it just won't turn on. apparently, "no operating system [is] detected." well, i've been meaning to buy a new computer for a while, and really 5 1/2 years for a laptop is a pretty good lifespan. but i'm poor, and well, i want a mac, and macs are expensive, so i'm not sure what my plan is this point. i can probably do without anything for the rest of the week and make a decision after spring break.
so its an unlucky week, but at least i'm headed to a caribbean island soon. though this doesn't bode well. i certainly hope this doesn't compare to the spring break i had in florida with uncle joey. i have no interest in taking a bus (or raft) to tobago, then spending time consoling a divorced, bi-polar, drunk-driving relative.
and on that note, i leave you with my favorite movie quote of all time
man 1 (to man 2): Estupido!
man 2 (to man 3): What's he saying?24 febrero 2008
hace dos anos
i'm a little sickened by the way we glorify celebrity, and the utter extravagance (and wastefulness) of it all. but that's for another time...
i had a more important realization a few moments ago. two years ago, i went to devo's birthday party on a saturday night. i spent the evening talking to an NU geologist, and listening to devo tell me about when he and teddy had bedbugs. images of the mars star in full sweatsuit, socks, and stocking cap ready for bed were rather amusing.
the next night was the oscars. i watched with pabst and popcorn in hand and settled into a post-award show slumber on my mattress on the floor. in the morning i woke up with two small bites on my hand.
and so began the year of sleeping hell. the smell of that blue-capped raid bottle will forever turn my stomach. "sleep tight" will never quite have the same meaning for me, and I'll never say it to my possible future children. small dark flecks on the wall freak me out. everytime i wake up with an itch i get paranoid.
in the end, i'm just glad its over. though it certainly changed my stance on ddt. i guess my ecological idealism doesn't stand a chance en frente lived experience.
20 febrero 2008
notes on the professor's visit
but in the end, ponger was his usual, charming, funny, drunk on the captain self. and its a shame our paths cross so infrequently. at least we've now officially authored our first paper together. here's to 299 more!
19 febrero 2008
then i ended up on the rez, and somewhere between the politics of standardized testing among native americans and watching the Ladies Man one too many times, the term mail man took on particularly important meaning in my life.
but after a few years of dealing with the jc usps, i lost hope. when the r___ and i changed our address it took over a month for the forwarding to kick in (and monmouth to pavonia is really only 3 or 4 blocks). on top of that, they lost 4 (important) packages over the course of 8 months. at some point i decided i was going to start fed exing instead.
but today, due to no particular conscious action by the usps, the mail service was redeemed. really i have two of my favorite people to thank. in my mailbox, when i got home from school, i found chocolate and music (along with some very nice notes with them). and though the contents of the two envelopes were quite exciting, it was the thinking behind them that really made the difference.
for me at least, there will always be something particularly distinctive and touching about real mail. holding something someone else has touched, that was meant for you. though in some ways, it communicates less than a phonecall or email, in other ways it communicates on a deeper level. i won't start quoting the note accompanying the cd, but its nice to find alternative ways to communicate with people that are important to you. blogging is one thing. sending a piece of yourself in whatever form is better...
14 febrero 2008
musica
as yellow was telling me that stoner bear wanted to give me a hug, i realized some of my favorite people in the whole world still respect their bears: davis, stonerbear, stitchy. and i certainly still respect mine. and i think there's something to be said for (pseudo) adults that aren't afraid to hug a plush animal once in a while.
bears aside though, i took a lot of long walks, and listened to some music, and was feeling better by the end of the week. i had my ipod on shuffle for one of the first times, and i've come to the conclusion that the amalgum of songs on my pod reads like a natural history of my past relationships (and not necessarily relationships). from devil's haircut to rabbit fur coat, my music has intertextuality and continues to be entextualized. neutral milk hotel, bjork, and the shins strike a deep chord. those songs are reminiscent of those remarkable moments in life--road trips to california, lakefill sunrises, and chinle campouts--and continue to take on new meanings as the songs are recycled.
they hit me almost as strongly as smells of herbal essences shampoo, coffee scented lip balm, and the smell of rotting corn on a humid summer/fall day.
on the other hand, i thought tonight would be an appropriate time to finally put together a playlist of the songs i put on the "breakup album" for the r_____ last year. and i realized that not only do these songs have very little meaning for me, i only had three of the ten on my computer already. pitiful. and now as i sit here listening to some "i don't love anyone" i wonder how long it will be until these songs become entextualized and evocative.
03 febrero 2008
futbol americano
i had quite an assortment of booze and past out on kronner's futon. then i lost a contact. fortunately, har-gill drove me home. i took a long walk and cleared my head. i got some school work done.
then i set out for participant observation. har-gill & i both had to do some, with differing topics, but when combined, we had the perfect site. a gay sports bar. and it was the superbowl! so after a tasty dinner of fajitas at his place, we drove to nellie's and participated in drinking while observing behavior. what was most striking to me was that i was the "expert" on football. i was told that the giants were a baseball team, not a football team on the way to the bar. once we arrived, i had to explain the scoring. i had to tell everyone why the cameras kept showing peyton when the giants scored.
and then, after the game, i got a ride all the way back to tenley. so many mood swings, so many unrequited feelings. but in the end, you can't go wrong being a hag, i guess.
02 febrero 2008
dos meses
i miss the simple days when things were clear. when people were close. when there was no moral value or deeper underlying meaning to what i wanted. when i didn't have to stop and ask if i was compromsing myself. when i didn't question who exactly i was. when i knew what settling was, and what it wasn't. i said in a phone call today, we all just really want that card that's guarenteed to be redeemable in 5 years for a really great relationship. but they don't exist.
and there's part of me that says, maybe i should change. maybe if i do this, or or give up that, or promise something entirely impossible things could work out. but the truth is, even if we were both committed to the goal, there are too many obstacles.
and i maintain, its better to eat the whole block of cheese than let it get moldy.
30 enero 2008
necessito dormir
what matters is i've slept for less than 5 hours the last 4 nights. And I keep thinking at some point my body will need more. But it just doesn't. I went to bed around 12:30 tonight. fell asleep fairly quickly. at 1:15 I woke up. I lied in bed waiting to fall asleep again. at 2:30 I gave up and thought I'd try to get some work done.
The problem is, i feel overly caffeinated (despite the fact that when tired this afternoon I went for the non-caffeinated peppermint tea over the weird smelly caffeinated stuff e.e. recommended). I can't concentrate on the book. I get half-thoughts, and all the "NGOs" on the page blur together. So what the hell am I supposed to do? I already feel behind. and I'm going to be at school all day tomorrow, and most likely get very little reading done because of various meetings and other obligations.
My mother would suggest that its all because I'm preoccupied. Or perhaps just not getting any exercise. But I have been getting physical activity. and I'm feeling pretty content at the moment. Other than the fact that this lack of sleep is causing me to be less productive. anyway, there's really no point to me writing this. all i'm doing is wasting more time being unproductive. time for some sleepytime tea.
27 enero 2008
clink
Connie was a profound influence on my life. i first remember encountering her in 1992. I played a munchikin in the high school's production of The Wiz. I remember a random sampling of moments from the play. I remember Betsy braiding her hair (13 years later my sister would play the same role, braids and all). I remember Brian Harmon putting his vest on upside down. I remember Steven Hartke (the tin man) holding up his axe as a signal to whoever was running the light board. i remember one of the Miller sisters trying to put makeup on me, and it being all blotchy. i remember the NCHS speech team sending the cast flowers with a note that said "Good Luck, Don't Suck." At that age, it was shocking...I didn't use that kind of language.
4 years later it became a central part of my lexicon. "Good luck, don't suck. I'm going to feed the ducks." It was Connie's most sincere way of encouraging. I learned a lot of things from Connie, the least being what "feeding the ducks" really meant. I learned my middle name was Ann. I learned how to hug her. I learned not to take Suter's criticisms too seriously (just seriously enough). I learned not to "use glue as deodorant." I learned not to let her interfere with my love life. I learned to walk in heels (a skill I've since lost). I learned not to skip finals. I learned lollypops are an awful fundraiser. I learned to play euchre. I learned others were jealous of the hey hi family. I learned how to "fly." I learned where she kept her cleaning products. I learned I should consult her before chopping off my hair. I learned that one need not be able to sing to have a part in a musical. I learned that Lauren Bacall went a long way with a scratchy voice. I learned who to lean on. I learned that something was amiss at the circle K. I learned there was humor in live chickens. I learned how to do a sugar shot. In essence, I learned that "I already had the potatoes, I just needed the gravy."
And now, i take stock of my life and see traces of her everywhere. She is present in the material posessions I have in my apartment. She is present in the way I construct and argument. Every time I give a presentation I silently thank her for not being nervous. I watch other speakers rock back and forth or with arms glued to their sides and smirk. I was told recently that I have very distinctive gestures. I owe them (for better or for worse) to her.
Connie was a teacher, a coach, a director, a mentor, a class advisor, an employer, and a friend. I contemplate what she did for me, and then think of the hundreds of other students she touched and wonder where I fall along the continuum. The funny thing is, I don't think any of us were just another kid. Even the ones she got frustrated with (I now have a vision of Gordo with a football shaved in his head) were truly loved deep down.
I last saw Connie two years ago and her retirement celebration. I somehow ended up at the table with her and it was wonderful to catch up. In some ways I feel guilty for not visiting her last time I was home, knowing full well it was probably my last chance. But in some ways I'm glad my last memory of her is still as the spunky, outspoken, but caring individual I looked up to so much. And as I looked around the room at that event, I saw all the other people who had been affected so deeply. And reconnecting with them was really amazing and valuable. It was because of her that we all loved each other so much. And maybe I'm overly romanticizing the relationships I had with the speechies and the kids from the park, but they are the people I still keep in touch with. They're the ones that make me proud of my roots and I hope that legacy continues. Without Connie it will be hard, but I think she's an amazing enough influence that she will continue to be felt, long after her physical presence has been lost.
I'm going to try to go home next weekend, and if/when I do, I will most certainly "Go to Ash."
her obituary
21 enero 2008
friday, i saw pan's labrynth with biij & lebanon. very depressing, but beautiful and captivating. in a way, its that beauty that hurts.
saturday, i watched the science of sleep, which did not impress me as much as eternal sunshine, but was still very much worth seeing. and that's not just because of g.g.b.
last night, after getting hopped up on a lot of jasmine tea, i saw 10 items or less. which was fantastic! undoubtedly my favorite of the three.

and so, in light of my inspiration, here are 10 things i loathe:
people who walk too slow
asking directions
my nemesis
distance between people
unnecessary plastic bags
midtown rush hour path train
pennsylvania
the princess bride
coffee
kissing someone who smokes
and the 10 things i'd keep
merrell boots
purple scarf
maryanne
skinny legs and all
funshine
the painting in my room at the ps' house
the rez picture from chaco
camera
the slippers juana made
the midwest
08 enero 2008
mis propositos
i'm back in dc and feeling very different than i was at home. i feel less needy. more just here. not necessarily in a good or bad way, but the things i was so preoccupied with in heytown are less affecctive here. though in some ways things still pull at me, but i think i'm learning to live with the questions. or maybe i'm just in a funk today.
i've read some stuff for next semester, and am quite pleased that the other things i'm supposed to have read i read last semester. i'll look at them again before monday, but for now i feel sort of caught up. though i think i'll try to make more of a dent in my butler book or the maya healing. and i still need to do more research on dv in bolivia. but its only 6pm, and i don't really have a plan for the evening. other than that there is crap all over my place that needs to be put away. sigh.....
04 enero 2008
deuce
last night, however, did not disappoint. there was plenty of dixie chicks, johnny cash, and kid rock/sheryl crow to go around. i ran into twilla, and she was sweet as ever. i also saw the tear-inducing turner, and we had a nice brief chat. he said he's been working in construction, and perhaps it was just the booze talking, but he said a few times that he should have paid more attention in school, but he was trying to be a rebel. i responded that he seemed happy, and to be doing well, so really, he shouldn't be too regretful.
i think in our own little way we were coming to terms with each other. he was saying, "sorry i thought you were a dork in high school, now i realize you knew what was up." and i was saying "sorry i thought you were a deadbeat in high school. now i realize you knew what was up." i hope it was our own little artis/miller moment. thankfully, this one didn't take a funeral.