04 junio 2009

once again, proof that the butter cow and citizenship are (to quote Nancy Fraser) "interimbricated"

(previously discussed in #5 here)

03 junio 2009

chicago

this place is "comfortable" a friend told me last night. there's something about this city that just fits. its natural. i never feel like i'm squeezing myself into what someone here is supposed to be or do. i never feel like a tourist who has stayed 2 years too long.

and fate has a way or making things happen here. last weekend, i went to meet some dc friends for dinner. i walked into the restaurant and who happened to be sitting at their table but ms. snow. apparently her man-friend went to college with (the other) jk. so, she invited me to a bbq she was throwing for brunjeses. and when i showed up on monday the r____ came along and we had a mini JC reunion. on tuesday i accompanied brunjeses to the film fest in which our JC masterpiece was being shown (note that using the word "our" in no way implies i did more than take trips to the JC salvation army, the police station in the heights, and stand around for a few hours on 5th & coles on a wintery day). as the program ended i got a text from she-ra asking if that was my name she saw in the credits. Yes, people just keep popping up all around. it seems like every time i leave the apartment someone new (but really, old) crosses my path.

which is exciting, in part, because i've been thinking about friends. i seem to be at an interesting moment in life where there are tensions between new friend, old friends, and those that were sort of friends before, and following a period of absence are poised to become better friends. there are the people like ee and otto who are working their ways into my heart, but its an uphill battle. i'm not sure if its because i'm not open to them or if the chemistry just isn't there. there are the oldies like the r___ who seem to grow more distant each day. and though there are times when i want desperately to grasp on and do everything i can to not let the friendship slip. and others when it seems inevitable that this will fade away in time. there are the old friends that i never doubt will always be there, but more and more of them fall out of that category and into a more precarious one. and then there are the new (but old) friends, and the new-new friends. and i have little profound to say about them, except that taken all together, the different kinds of people in my life present a challenge. where does one focus energy? is it more important to keep the people you hold dear or make new friends where you are (whether for the moment or for a good while)? ideally of course, one could maintain all of them, but we know that we have limited resources. some kids must be cut from the team. or at least banished to 2nd string. (and now i commence a my boys-esque thought) but is a history of talent more important than future potential? What is the homerun from 8 seasons ago worth today? And are the well formed double batted swings on deck worth taking a chance on? I guess you never know until you try. And people make the wrong choices all the time. But maybe no amount of comtemplating or planning can ensure a playoff team. Maybe you just open up the call and see who shows up.

ok, enough silly rambling. as if things weren't confusing enough i am now contemplating giving the r____ the painting that i recently rescued from the r___.