christy & i were talking today at p&p about "purity balls" where fathers and daughters pledge to do all they can to ensure the daughters' purity until they marry. of course, it wasn't explicitly stated what exactly they mean by "purity," but i doubt many would argue that there is an inherent sexual (or anti-sexual) connotation here. (at this point i will uncharacteristically bypass a diatribe on the problematic gender ideologies at play here, but i will simply submit the pledge as evidence).
which got me thinking. we have such a strange way of defining purity. what makes us pure, unaffected, without baggage.
the r___ wrote recently that what got him hooked on post secret was a card that said "i can't marry you because i'm still in love with a bitch."
and i think that's the kind of purity i wish i could preserve. i wish there was a way to enter a relationship and give oneself openly, freely, fully. no baggage, no expectations, no past. just two people with open minds about one another.
but that's an impossibility. we hurt each other unknowingly or unintentionally. and then we carry that pain into our future relationships. we are insecure, or guarded, or simply unwilling to be in that moment. and i sometimes wonder if maybe things weren't better in a time when people married their high school sweethearts and never looked back. fortunately, i'm too cynical to wonder for too long.
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