As much as I like to think of myself as an optimist, I often focus on the bad more than the good. Earlier today I thought about writing something about all the things I’m thankful for, but I never really got around to it. And then I went off to thanksgiving festivities and didn’t give it a second thought.
Though I had quite a good time, I came home to my empty apartment, and couldn’t help but feel a little sad. It reminded me a little of thanksgiving 2003, walking home from work through grand central station the day before thanksgiving. Watching everyone rush off to their trains to see parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, and family pets. Everyone in a good mood. Everyone with somewhere to go. And I just had to catch the 6 train downtown. Back to an empty apartment. At least this time I have windows in my bedroom.
And maybe its just that I tend to overanalyze everything. Or that I draw too many associations between tonight’s events and things that happened 5 years ago. But I was feeling pretty gloomy by the time I put my raw lasagna leftovers in the fridge.
But strangely, from the oddest of places, I was given hope. I ended up talking to tex, and despite all the complications and hurt feelings of the past, he was insightful, encouraging, and probably most importantly rational.
I am so very thankful for so very many things in my life, but at this moment, this is the one I want to write about. I have so many amazing friends that seem to pop up in the right time and place (even if via phone or email). I feel so lucky to have somehow happened upon people who really care about me. Who somehow see the best in me even when I’ve given them every opportunity to see the worst. And even though many of the situations we’ve found ourselves in over the years haven’t turned out quite as planned, I value them all so deeply. And their love manifests itself in many ways. Chocolate or cds randomly arriving in the mail. Love advice from once-scorned lovers. Text messages recounting random grocery store shelves or inside jokes about fishnets. Macabre postcards. I often ponder how much these people mean to me, and but its always nice to know I mean something to them too.
Though I had quite a good time, I came home to my empty apartment, and couldn’t help but feel a little sad. It reminded me a little of thanksgiving 2003, walking home from work through grand central station the day before thanksgiving. Watching everyone rush off to their trains to see parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, and family pets. Everyone in a good mood. Everyone with somewhere to go. And I just had to catch the 6 train downtown. Back to an empty apartment. At least this time I have windows in my bedroom.
And maybe its just that I tend to overanalyze everything. Or that I draw too many associations between tonight’s events and things that happened 5 years ago. But I was feeling pretty gloomy by the time I put my raw lasagna leftovers in the fridge.
But strangely, from the oddest of places, I was given hope. I ended up talking to tex, and despite all the complications and hurt feelings of the past, he was insightful, encouraging, and probably most importantly rational.
I am so very thankful for so very many things in my life, but at this moment, this is the one I want to write about. I have so many amazing friends that seem to pop up in the right time and place (even if via phone or email). I feel so lucky to have somehow happened upon people who really care about me. Who somehow see the best in me even when I’ve given them every opportunity to see the worst. And even though many of the situations we’ve found ourselves in over the years haven’t turned out quite as planned, I value them all so deeply. And their love manifests itself in many ways. Chocolate or cds randomly arriving in the mail. Love advice from once-scorned lovers. Text messages recounting random grocery store shelves or inside jokes about fishnets. Macabre postcards. I often ponder how much these people mean to me, and but its always nice to know I mean something to them too.
ok, enough with the mushiness already...
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