decepción

to paraphrase charlie brown: nothing takes the taste out of soy hot chocolate quite like disappointment.

i know i should be writing about being 15 freakin' feet away from evo morales last night, but instead in need to indulge in self pity.

perhaps i am naive for being confident. shouldn't i have learned after all those rounds of applications that maybe i'm not as great as i thought i was. but no, i really thought it was going to work out this time. i thought it had all come together. i thought the reasoning was sound, the support was there, i even did the budget the way they told me to. and all for naught.

of course, this isn't the end of the line. there's always next semester. there are always other options. there's always debt. there's always reconfigurations. there's always the internet pain photos route to take (coincidentally about which i wrote an abstract today). but i guess i'm just feeling utter disappointment. not failure, but confusion. not sadness, but frustration.

i just need to remember, that when dwight couldn't get into bon vanai as an anthropologist he went as a public health worker. i need to be savvy...