lengua lavender

i've been at a conference for the past two days on glbtqia language (that's gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer, intersexed, ally).

today, i got to introduce the woman i would choose to be my advisor out of all possibilities (except maybe the gill). she thanked me twice for such an "amazing" introduction.

but what was perhaps a more important moment for me (and no, it has nothing to do with the free food) happened conceptually. sure there's this tired debate about whether homosexuality (as well as transexuality/genderism) are biological or a choice. Obviously there are problematic aspects of looking at this either way (especially in terms of politics). most academics conceive of these phenomena (in the broad sense of the term) as somewhere between biology and choice. and i hadn't given it much thought. but as my mind wandered today during some paper on the scripting of "coming out" stories, i realized something. and now that i'm thinking about it, i don't understand why i didn't get it earlier...let alone why much of the less-left-leaning don't get it.

so here's the deal: have you ever had a crush on someone? someone who's bad news? someone who will clearly screw you over, or lead you on, or has really awful politics, or wines a lot, or smells weird, or spends their free time watching countless episodes of law & order (just kidding on that one...)? And you try to stop yourself from liking this person, but you just can't? Maybe you can put them out of your mind, but then you randomly run into them and it starts all over again?

Well, i don't think anyone would argue its biologically coded that you're attracted to this particular person. But I certainly wouldn't argue that you are choosing to like this person.

And not to say that many glbtqia people are trying really hard to put their love/sex partners of choice out of their minds. or that they should. i'm just saying this all helps me conceptualize the space between biology and choice (which is obviously quite large). there are a lot of other factors in there, and no amount of gay gene or "reorientation" camps are going to change that.

yay for v day reimagination.