12 abril 2011

24 horas en miami

It is the first real spring-like day in Chicago, and all the Lincoln Park Trixies are dressed like they are headed to South Beach, and I’m the only one on this plane to Miami with a giant suitcase full of sweaters and wool socks. I thought my stay in Miami would be limited to a mad dash from the domestic terminal to an international flight gate, but it seems I’ll be staying for about 24 hours.

The flight out of Chicago was tight to begin with, and after being delayed twice, its just downright late. So the trip I’ve been waiting for since four years ago. Waiting for since I was a junior in college, really, I suppose. Waiting for tens years to set off on, has now been delayed another day.

So tomorrow, rather than sleepily stumbling off an airplane at 5am, through customs, and into the Ram’s car, I will be waking up in a cozy Miami hotel bed and wasting most of the day before my 10:30 pm flight. But perhaps this will give me a chance to get some work done. Perhaps I’ll work on that impending grant application. Or that book chapter, or journal article. Perhaps I’ll be productive and pay for hotel internet and send some emails to feminist groups or travel companies. But I’m totally unprepared for lounging by a pool or stolling along the beach. And the air conditioning may be the only thing that makes my misplaced wardrobe manageable. So, alas, productivity awaits. A Florida!

because on international flights, they're not allowed to release luggage once its checked, i only had the contents of my backpack and purse:
1 bra
1 underwear
2 hair bands
1 long sleeve t shirt
1 pair jeans
1 pair tall wool socks
1 pair leather boots
1 down coat
1 scarf
1 wool sweater
15 altitude sickness pills
1 nalgene bottle
1 wallet
1 swatch watch
2 pens
2 mechanical pencils
1 flash drive
1 pair bvlgari glasses
1 pair sunglasses
1 pair apple earbuds
1 canon camera
10 twenty dollar bills
1 canon G12 camera
1 zoom h2 voice recorder
1 jansport backpack
1 dell inspiron mini
1 binder
1 college ruled composition notebook
1 small recycled paper notebook
1 culture and truth by renato rosaldo
1 lonely planet bolivia guidebook
1 larousse pocket spanish/english dictionary
2 hotel vouchers
4 meal vouchers
1 new flight ticket

05 abril 2011

en heyworth


Most of my friends from this place scoff at the local establishments. And for the most part I don’t blame them. The “Family Restaurant” (refered to as “res-turnt” by most of my family) presumes that a Greek Salad should include bacon. The grocery store carries no veggie burgers and only Boone’s Farm Wine Products in the alcohol section. And Bell’s Lawn and Video, the only known store this side of the Mississippi where you can browse the video rental library while waiting for diagnostics on your riding mower, closed years ago. But one thing I do appreciate, in spite of it all, is the bar scene.

Once upon a time, before I was old enough to really be aware of such things, the American Legion was the only place in town serving booze. Then, I believe during my jr. high days, the owner of the Irish Circle bar, in the next town over, decided the market was gaping and opened up Circle II (the logo to which is a branding iron style circle with the II emblazoned in the middle). And then finally, sometime when I was off at college in Chicago a real “Chicago style” bar opened. Yes, in the building that had been vacant since 1982, when the historic Hickory House Saloon shut down, Pit Row opened its doors. Now the place does have a nice wooden bar. It has a well kept pool table and a long row of electronic poker games along the back. The ceiling is high and they do actually enforce the now ubiquitous Illinois smoking ban, unlike the bartender only known as “Smokey” over at II. But after having spent the better part of 6 years in Chicago, I have yet to find a NASCAR themed bar there. So while I find the paintings of a racetrack crowd on the walls, the racecar hanging upside down from the ceiling, and the cardboard cutouts of Dale and Dale Jr. in the corner endearing, I would not exactly call this place a Chicago bar.

But despite the Dales, despite the smoke, despite the implicit proliferation of militarization in small town United States, I love these places. And I rather enjoy checking in on them during my infrequent trips to heytown. I suppose because you always run into someone interesting. And by interesting I do not necessarily mean someone who is leading a fascinating life (though its happened on occasion). Mostly I mean someone unexpected from the past.

So my most recent trip to heytown happened to fall during the NCAA tournament, and for the final game, Mama H, Papa H, and I decided that since none of us really cared who won, it might be more interesting at the Row. Papa H, in his sage-like way, predicted I would run into a young man who I hadn’t seen in 3-6 years. I agreed saying, “who will it be? Someone who will induce crying, like CT? a old flame like MN? Or maybe just someone silly dancing by himself in the corner like JC?”

And so, we all took the 5 minute walk to the Row, and plopped down at the bar. It was slow on a Monday night, and when we arrived was only populated by the bartender, the owner’s wife, and an older gentleman waiting for a to-go order of the night’s special, chicken wings.

But was we watched the game, JC came in and ordere more to-go food. MN came in with his home-wrecking new(ish) lady-friend. And the predictions came true. Two out of three ain’t bad. And to top it all off (despite the lack of a CT appearance), LM, the current mayor wandered by and said hello to Mama and Papa H as if they were best friends.

There have been times I’ve been creeped out a bit by the close knittedness of heytown. I don’t like knowing that gassing up on my way into town sets in motion a series of text messages which results in a former classmate calling my parents’ home to talk to me. But the flip side is, its comforting. People know you and care about you, and in a pinch would surely take care of you. They may not be family, or even friends. But there’s a trust and knowledge that develops just seeing people in the IGA that you can’t replicate in larger communities. And as much as I curse it at times, sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

03 abril 2011

el doctór

the first time i used doc bronner's was showering at the texan's place (in maryland). it was of the peppermint variety and i wasn't a particularly big fan. not of the smell necessarily, but i thought it left my skin with a weird film. but as i spent more time in that shower, i grew to appreciate it.


not long after, in a love-sick clinging to old memories, i bought a bottle of the tea tree bronners. a small bottle. but it quickly became a prized commodity and the small empty bottle was replaced by a larger one. these were the days of a tea tree crusade. nature's gate tea tree shampoo and conditioner. tea tree doc's. even a tea tree facial cleanser. but tea tree, as it does, can get a little overwhelming. some time the next year i knew i couldn't handle it any more.

i tried the almond. too sweet. the lavender had always been too flowery. i knew too many other people that used the peppermint. and so i found myself happily settling on the citrus, and haven't looked back since. the medium sized bottle of wonderful citrus 18-purpose cleaner has sat in my shower consistently since then.


until now. i haven't given up on the citrus, but i've made a switch to the bar soap. i was hesitant at first. would it provide the same wonderful sudsiness? would it work well on hair? on dirty clothes? but it seems to be just as amazing as the liquid stuff. with a fraction of the weight and virtually no waste product. ah bronner's......you've done it again.


31 marzo 2011

de donde eres?

well, in the last week i've been asked about twice daily where i'm from. and i don't know how to answer.


of course, there's the problem i've had for years. i was born on the west coast. grew up in the midwest. went to school in chicago. lived in new york. resided in DC.

but i could always fall back on the place i currently lived. the place i paid rent. where my car was registered. where i voted. where i paid taxes. but now that's over. my stuff lives in my parents' basement and closets. i sleep in a bed in chicago. my affiliation is with a school in DC. and in a week, i will physically be in Bolivia.

and so i stutter. i hesitate. i look to other people to answer for me. because i am no longer from anywhere. i am only to somewhere. to illinois. to chicago. a bolivia. and with my fromness, in a way, my history is obscured. if i'm not from dc, i have no school, i have no purpose.


leaving dc has been difficult. its the end of an era in a way. and i'm not sure i'm entirely ready for the next era. i'm hesitating about all kinds of things. but in a way, i suppose bolivia has come to symbolize a release. a relief. a place where i can just be. and there the answers are easy.

soy de los estados unidos.

15 marzo 2011

hasta luego

today i cleaned out my drawer. just a simple desk drawer. one that has not always been mine, and is sure in the course of a few months to no longer be remembered as mine. i inherited it from audrey, just over 3 years ago. and in a way, it has been my home. it has been my stability.


grad school is a tumultuous time. it is a time over overwork, underpay, urgency, stagnation, and extremes. gaping holes and overfilled plates. all night cubicle sessions. yoga in workspaces. couch naps. margarita binges. star gazing outside of institutions you reject. deconstructing institutions you must accept and trying to reconcile the institutions you simultaneously love and hate. it is tearing yourself apart, while forcefully defending yourself when others try to do the same. it is finding yourself and losing yourself. it is losing the world and finding it again.

and my drawer was my home in all this. and in a way, cleaning out my drawer was an archaeology of grad school life (in both a binford sense and a foucaultian one). i unearthed the relics of the last 4 years. contemporary theory articles. pre-bolivia papers. approvals from all 4 comps. conference schedules. old printed emails. books, and food, and telephones, and other assorted ephemera.

and now all that remains are 4 library books.

this drawer has been a home to me more than any apartment i've occupied in DC. its is my box of essentials. my first-aid kit (whiskey). it has held soccer cleats and cookies. dissertation proposals and graded undergrad exams.

and then at the end of the day i went to my last dissertation seminar. possibly ever. and audrey was there. and ted was there. and everyone in between. and in a way it felt like a generational menagerie. a foucaultian geneology. and abby gave me some old phones that might work on gsm 1900. and i gave mahri a tent that used to be julie's. there's something so nice about the passing of goods. not only because they're useful, but because they have a history. and that history centers around this space/place. this ambition. this process.

and i said goodbye to david (though hopefully not for the last time before i leave). david who i first got to know through a shared experience of breakups. david to whom i've alluded my darkest secrets. david who shook my hand during orientation, and provided us all with a swanky party atop a downtown law office building. david who let me cry to him for 10 minutes after passing my defense.

this is not the end. it is only a new phase. but really, it is the end to some things. and its time for that end, but that doesn't mean i'm ready.

11 marzo 2011

embalajar 1

i'm packing up things from the place i've lived the longest since leaving my parents' home (only slightly longer than 912 hamlin). this is a place that has felt like home. a place i've lived.

and so, i'm going through a box of papers i've been toting around for about 6 years. i thought i'd share this gem. i'm not sure when i wrote it, but it was between a national geographic map of north american cultures and a copy of my 2006 tax returns.



we once drove over the mountain
a 2 hour trip at 11 pm
just to consume illegal substances
and return 5 hours later
hung over, sore, exhausted.
we stayed up all night chanting
in a language we didn't understand
and unknowingly ruined the cake.
we were enigmas of the desert
unbridled, unburdened, young, strong, and restless.

but we can't keep it up any more.

we fly in from the east coast
now 2 less than we were
wearing nice shoes
with purses and 3 piece suits
here we are somehow adult, still drinking vodka
from plastic bottles
but we can't stay up past 12
we are slowly dying, our adopted clan
as we cling to that language we only
borrowed superficially.


27 febrero 2011

en el distrito

it was one of those dc days.


the morning started with some reading in the center of union station. then off to library of congress. after attempting some academic-y stuff there, i gave up and checked out their exhibit called "exploring the early americas." aside from cringing at the fact that one might discount everything that happened in the hemisphere prior to 1492 by refering to colón's landing and its aftermath as "early," i enjoyed the exhibit. it was heavily maya focused, with a mere display case each for taíno, inca, and aztec. but there were some pretty fantastic old maps. i would have liked more maps of course, but alas. i suppose my disappointment was that they were very spaced out. 1502, 1516, and then we jump to the 1700s.



i headed out of LoC toward the mall, but as i passed the lower senate park, i saw a bunch of folks standing around in bright orange shirts, with signs and a loudspeaker. as i got closer i could see the iconic round blue NOW "keep abortion legal" signs, so i crossed the street to see what was what. i stood at the back for a moment, leaning on a tree, feeling very much like the new anthropologist trying hard to participate/observe, but feeling mostly like a voyeur. shortly after though, i recognized ilianorama in the crowd and went to stand by her. i heard the last speaker, and then the crowd went off to march in solidarity with planned parenthood, and i continued west toward the mall.


i have been telling myself for two years that when i get the winter blues, i really should just head straight for the national botanical garden and revive my warm weather spirits, but today was the first time i actually took myself up on the suggestion. i found a lovely bench in the middle of the jungle room and actually got through about 100 pages. i ended my garden experience by wandering around the desert room and medicinal plant room, then headed toward the metro stopping by the sculpture garden along the way.


this evening i met mattt and company (jbosch, brot, et al) at my favorite place for revolutionary cuisine. i had some pasta (first meal of the day!) and some drinks. we thought about moving to the raven after dinner, but were worried it'd be too crowded, so mattt & i went on a reconnaissance mission. indeed the bird was over crowded as we peeked in through the new (but nonetheless, held together by duck tape) picture window. greg noticed me from behind the bar and gave a wave, but we didn't brave the crowd. we just returned to papa karl's and left shortly after.


on my way home, i rounded the corner and ran into katieq of the woco days. turns out she's getting a phd at american now too. funny how those things happen.

there was nothing terribly out of the ordinary about today other than that i made a point to really live in this city in which i'm located. i ran into old and new friends, took advantage of the wonderful smithsonian institution, and even got some work done (though never enough!). i wish i had days like this more often, however. it felt full and fun and fulfilling. and i've only got 3 weeks left here. i need to make the most of it.

23 febrero 2011

por el amor de antropología

Last week, on v day, rex at savage minds suggested that anthropologists write love letters to anthropology. i thought it was a nice idea and decided to do it. then things like grant proposals and monday morning 8am lectures got in the way. but i was still inspired by it, so i wrote a little something.

Its not exactly a love letter to anthropology. Its more of a love letter inflected by anthropology. but by way of an introduction, it also very much demonstrates what it is I love about anthropology: the cataloging of seemingly inane details, coupled with theory and criticism, to help us learn something about ourselves (as humans). so here you have it.

They say on average, women speak 8805 words a day. So, i suppose i've spoken about 16,069,125 words in my life. Yet no matter how I do the math, I can't calculate how many times I've said the word "love." I suspect it first escaped my lungs at the age of three after my mother read me The Wind in the Willows and kisssed me goodnight. The next Christmas, I exclaimed that I love my new Cabbage Patch Kid. I love my dad. I loved our cat Tiller. I loved my older cousin Charlotte, but decidedly not my younger cousin Amanda, for a while. When i was 5 1/2 my sister was born, but I didn't love her for another year. I loved spaghetti and strawberry cake. I first sang the word one summer in the backyard to the tune of Not Fade Away. I loved Anne of Green Gables and A Wrinkel in Time. I loved John Waters movies before I really understood them.

At the age of 16, my first boyfriend stood on my parents' porch, kissed me goodnight, and said it to me. It took me a month before I said it back. In the years since, I've said it to three partners with various levels of sincerity. I've said it to five friends, whole-heartedly every time. I've said it about Karl Marx, Wes Anderson, Dwight Conquergood, and Tom Robbins. I've said it about four U.S. cities, the island of Tobago, and the entire nation of Bolivia. I love beets. I love the rain, and the snow, and sledding. I love swimming nude in the Atlantic Ocean and wading through small tributaries of the Mississippi River.

I love so many things in so many ways and the linguist in me asks how so many different feeling could be lumped into one category. The Marxian in me asks what ideology it reflects. The cynic in me silently screams that this thing we call "love" isn't real. The anthropologist in me points out that its socially constructed and and relies on patriarchial and heteronormative notions of citizenship, only serving to reinforce the capitalist reproduction of the means of production. In essence I don't believe that love is anything more than the opiate of the masses.

And yet, I mean something when I say it to you. No matter how I do the math, I can't calculate how many words I've said to you. All I know is everyone of them is true.

13 febrero 2011

desde lima 2006

something i found in a random notebook today

This morning I woke up at 7:45 but I stayed in bed until 9. I didn't fall asleep again, but was just thinking...first about sunrises...sitting on the beach with scammell and pete. In those coldest moments of the morning. And there were times when there was no magic moment. You wait and wait, and then suddenly you realize the sun is already a good two inches above the horizon. But that doesn't ruin it. And then I began wondering if that's the magic I'm missing. And if I'll ever find it again.

02 febrero 2011

soy vegetariana

my roommate sent me this npr article suggesting that bacon is the gateway to meatdom for vegetarians. i wrote her a long comment, and because i'm lazy about this here blog, i'm pretty much just repeating here.

but first, as a disclaimer, I do love the smell of bacon. However, the one time I tasted it in the last 12 years (Thanks, CutsofBeef), it tasted totally disgusting.

mmmm....veggies

But in terms of the article itself, I think it makes some assumptions. Primarily, that one bite of meat immediately nullifies years of vegetarianism. For most veggies, its an ethical commitment to lessening the awful impacts that meat production has on the environment, human rights, and health. And like all other ethical commitments, people slip up. That's why we have things like catholic confession and carbon offsets. So when Donna Maurer says "Opportunities to try new foods, like chocolate-covered bacon, with friends might push some vegetarians over the edge," I think that's totally ridiculous. There's no reason a vegetarian can't try a small bite of chocolate covered bacon (or eat 5 whole pieces) and go back to being "vegetarian" an hour later. Then again, maybe i'm just a crazy relativist, deconstructionist, po-mo anthro.

31 enero 2011

en tiempo

something to keep in mind, i suppose...


especially in these days when i am painfully un-busy. when the next few months look to be endless waiting. and the ones after that will be the well-known, well-aggrivating months of hurrying up and waiting of fieldwork. in a place where concepts of time are different (though i make no claims to be able to assess under which category Paceños or Alteños might fall. Sometimes you just have to breathe deeply and surrender, and remind yourself that time is all relative. Abstract time is a capitalist convention. And the notion of wasting time, is thus, simply a product of commodity fetishism in which time is part of the commodity. To waste time is to waste value (even in a more figurative "value of spending time having fun" sort of meaning). But if I can break myself away from that, learn to enjoy the endless grant applications (talk about commodity fetish...), and savor my last months in dc, maybe i'll snap out of this lousy feeling i've been having.

19 enero 2011

pintada

i painted tonight. mostly because last night in seminar dvine made us tell everyone one activity we do to keep ourselves sane. i said painting, and realized i hadn't done it in a while. well, given the palimpsestuous nature of my recent work, i can't really do too much at once, but i did a few things, and made something quite simple that i like actually like quite a bit with some leftover reds and oranges.

the new stuff

all in all, i don't think the current stuff is as good as my last painting, which i also rather like. but really, its the strokes that matter. the feeling of moving the brush. the journey so to say.

the last one (muybridge i)

i also listened to some of scamz's stuff on phonography. in particular, beneath the waves, because i'm told that my recorded voice will be included when he does a live reading at MICA in february. i suggested perhaps, since i'll be there (though likely late, thanks to lavender), he should just let me do it live, but he ignored the request. i also listened to the other which always is a little nostalgia-inducing. alas, the night was a good artsy-rounded night. now if only i could get to sleep.

16 enero 2011

col rizada

on new year's day, mc & i set off to make some traditional(?) black eyed peas. he insisted kale should be involved. and so i bought a bunch of kale at giant. it was indeed giant. now, on january 16th, i still have a few servings left, and i've been eating it regularly. at least 1 meal every other day or so. apparently, this is good, because according to my new favorite blog, valet (which is of course aimed at a GQ-esque male audience), kale is good for workout recover, bone strength, and cancer prevention. and i should be doing well, because i've been eating it along with a lot of tomatoes too.

i've made
1. black eyed pea, tomato, and kale stew
2. pasta with kale, bell peppers, and feta
3. kale filled pastries (sort of like spanokopita)
4. flat bread with kale, onions, and parmesean
5. tomato kale soup



i thought i'd provide a little recipe inspiration here. i'd say the original stew and the tomato kale soup were the best, but the pastries were the most creative i thought. so here you are:

1 tbsp butter
1 onion
3 cloves garlic
salt & pepper to taste
bunch of kale
1 tomato
4 oz feta
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 pkg crescent rolls

tear kale into pieces
melt the butter & add garlic & onion. immediately being adding kale. sautee until sauteed.
dice tomato & feta, mix and add vinegar
unroll crescent roll package. lay out 4 rolls in original triangular form. make a small mound of kale on top. add some feta mixture. put another triangle over the top. attempt to seal on the sides.
bake according to crescent roll directions.


15 enero 2011

primas son las amigas mejores

i was feeling kind of down tonight. it may have had something to do with the fact that my phone keeps crapping out, and conversations with people dear to me are interrupted midway through with seemingly no way of re-starting them within 20 minutes. i was lying glumly in bed, catching up on my google reader, and thinking of how i should probably enmesh myself in an art project to revive my spirits.

and then the phone rang again. but i put it on speaker phone, and heard a voice that sounds quite like mine. it was my cousin ampbt (which is her initials, but kinda looks like it could be a new energy drink or something). and i can't imagine anyone better to have spoken to. we talked for an hour an a half about weddings, babies, husbands, clothing, weight gaining, aversions to running, old friends, new friends, crazy mothers, self-deprecating sisters, slow talking fathers, and cousins "on the other side" (though surprisingly, the meth cousins did not make an appearance in the conversation).

i often think that she and i (as well as her sister and i) are closer than many people are with some siblings. we essentially grew up together. from the nutcracker (see below) to late night denny's coffee, we experienced all the important stuff together. she tried to find me a date to my junior prom, and i begged her to go to homecoming with my friend, jbl (now jbl, esq.). and probably a lot of it was our proximity in age, similarity of interests, and the inescapablility of genetics. but what it comes down to is: there are very few people who understand me like she does (lou and char being the only other two i can think of-not even the nice or consueloz quite measure up).

all dressed up for the nutcracker (i'd guess 1985?)

and yet, we rarely talk. usually on october 27. or briefly on the phone to make plans when i'm in chicago. but only when we are actually in each others' physical presence do we have those late night wine fueled conversations that drift from topic to topic until we can barely keep our eyes open. but tonight was different. she called because she and char were at kap's place and char and kap started fighting. she just needed to talk to someone who could understand how ampbt spilling a bit of lasagna on the floor could start a fight between her mother and sister. and oh, how i understand.

and every time, we say, we shall make a habit of these talks. hopefully we will. i miss her terribly. i suppose the fact that lou is in heytown was part of my melancholy state. and hearing that the three parker-baker-tapia-belsan-s were together perhaps added to it. it makes me want to be in chicago so badly. it makes me regret so badly the bachelorette, and graduation, and birthday parties i've missed. but in time. i will be back. at least briefly. but i will relish it.

10 enero 2011

barbas de nuevo


awesome Beard Anatomy print from etsy


so back when i was first envisioning The Anthropology of Beards, i had 2 associates (the tall one and the gay one, as LT puts it) with whom to scheme. and scheme we did. that's about all we did. we were very good at making plans. and unless we impulsively flipped a coin to determine whether we immediately leave on a 9 hr road trip, we were not nearly as good on following through on those plans.

however, ee (the gay one), took some initiative and talked up The Anthropology of Beards to other colleagues and acquaintances and got some bites. they started scheming without my input and what i envisioned as an anthropology of the performance, symbolism, cultural significance, and community meaning of facial hair (mostly beards) now has a "main theme ... [of] passing and gender."

this is not to say that my work is not about passing or gender. gender most certainly. because the community i was looking at includes women. but to what extent? by what association? and what exactly is the social meaning of vagerino?

and passing is there to a lesser extent. i think one of the most fascinating things about whiskerino is the focus on artistic vision in addition to facial hair. this is NOT a beard contest. if anything it is a photographic contest with a metatheme of beard. thus, there are plenty of men involved who have very light, thin, or otherwise less than ideal ("immense facial hair density, girth, and coverage") beards. and for the majority of the whiskerino duration, most people's faces look just kind of dirty, itchy, and unkempt.

there's also an element of passing in the symbolism and meaning attributed to the beard in an etic v emic perspective. what does a beard allow one to pass for (musician or artist). and what does it markedly disallow one to pass for (businessperson)?

so its all there. but the ways in which i incorporate gender and passing are decidedly not talking about the intersections of "beards/facial hair and transgressive or pathologised sexual practices and diverse sexualities."

and so, this project, may move forward without me. disappointing, but not hopeless. for, the proliferation of an anthropology of beards puts forward all anthropologies of beards. !viva la barba-lucion!

08 enero 2011

falda nueva


this time, i'm actually going along with the resolution. yesterday, i made a skirt. from double recycled fabric. you see, back in the jc days when cutsofbeef and i would sit around, drink cheap wine, and watch project runway to our hearts' delight, i bought this big yellow (perhaps, more accurately, goldenrod) bedsheet at the local salvation army. at his encouraging, in scarlott style, i made that sheet into a little sundress. but the fact was, it never fit me that well. the bust was too tight, the hemline was neither kneelength, nor tea-length. in the end, it smashed certain parts of me and was "frumpy"

so, it sat in various closets, boxes, crates, storage spaces, and basements for a few years. and then, yesterday, it emerged into the light. and seam ripped, and cut, and pinned, and ironed, and basted, and sewed, and seam-ripped, and re-sewed. and eventually...i had this


06 enero 2011

fracaso

remember that whole not buying new clothing, and simplifying, and avoiding consumerism thing...

ahem.


maybe i'll do a better job tomorrow

placas mapas


ok, so it only took me an hour or so to totally go back on all that consumerist, curated resolution stuff. but seriously, these are beyond awesome.

05 enero 2011

nuevo ano

i've been trying to come up with a resolution, and i think i've got a good one.

but first, the usuals. cut paper out of my life (i've got a decent start on this one). cut out plastic too (quite a bit harder). drive less (so far, i've only driving to drop off at the airport in 2011). walk more. eat simply and tastily. buy 2nd hand or make most of my clothing. and by all means, do what you can to divorce yourself from consumerism.


but i think the real kicker actually combines some of these, with an artistic flair. it is...dum dum dum....

curate your life

sounds all hoity toity and stuff huh. well here's the deal, its simply to do things with intention. buy a shirt because its a very well made shirt and i will wear it for years (not because its $3 at target). acquire books i will actually read and want in my collection (not because they're on the free books bench). organize. simplify. make life both aesthetically and experientially enjoyable.

i feel better just thinking about it.

02 enero 2011

viviendo con yo

i caught myself today, thinking "i can't wait until i live alone."

its no secret certain things around here endlessly drive me crazy. maybe i'm just too old. maybe by 30(ish) we're too set in our ways to gracefully live with the rules of those with whom we disagree. different household ideologies*...

and the little things get me so frustrated. i keep telling myself the daily frustrations are a small trade off for living in a nice building in a location i enjoy. but the truth is, i think 1/2 the reason i want this grant is that it will give me an excuse to move out asap.

and i can't help but notice the gendered nature of household ideologies i've observed. the first time i lived with others in an independent household (meaning, not a university dormitory) outside of my parents' home (for an extended period of time) was when i lived with folks on hamlin. we managed to get along pretty well, and divide chores and such, but not without the "chore wheel" created by the other woman living in the apartment. when she left and i lived with 3 men, the chore wheel when down the toilet and things deteriorated to the point that i refused to do dishes because no one else would. i kept 1 set of dishes in my room, which i washed in the bathroom sink after each meal, because the kitchen sink was so full of quickly molding boy-used dishes.

later in life, i lived with cutsofbeef, who defied gender stereotypes in many ways. on friday nights he liked to drink a bottle of wine, do some baking, and clean the apartment with no small amount of method products. which of course was perfectly fine with me. but my point here is not that he defied the construct i'm setting up. my point is that he felt no need to regiment cleaning. it was something done when someone wants to do it or sees a need for it. there was no need for charts, schedules, or lists. cleaning was managed laissez faire. its only been women i've lived with that have needed hard and fast schedules, rules, and routines.

and its this regimentation and surveillance that drives me crazy. i live in a foucaultian cleaning panopticon. i get emails asking when i will be mopping the floor, or askance comments about whether i used the "correct" cleaning product for a certain task. maybe its my own fault for being non-confrontational, but i'm mad as hell and i'm not going to take it any more. except that i probably will.

and then the other side of all this is, i actually will never live alone again. my little house in the country and my garden apartment at the bottom of the hill will be my only forays. however, when i move, i will get to live with someone who i, for the most part, actually share much household ideology. if anything, i'm the clean(er) freak. but there is little nagging or passive agressive insinuations about the frequency or method by which cleaning occurs. sure i probably strongly suggest on occasion that there is way too much dust hiding beneath the couch, and he can't understand why anyone would use any product other than bon ami (or perhaps feigns ignorance that anyone could possibly think anything else might be effective). but on the whole, we agree on cleaning, cooking, energy usage, and clutter levels. and that is one of the most reassuring things i can think of.

* i'm either coining or misusing the term household ideology. either way, what i mean is simply the cooking, cleaning, technology & resource use, and organizational patterns of the home to which people ascribe a level of neutral naturalness and common sensicality. ie. it is obviously totally logical to clean the bathroom once a week, or is obviously totally logical to clean the bathroom bathroom when it seems to be getting "dirty."