el autobus

so, last time i took the chinatown bus to dc, i had a lovely experience on the way down. fiend said he also liked the apex bus. so i figured they were alright by me, and boarded the bus back to ny cheerfully. the ride was fine, until half way between exits 6 & 7a in jersey, when suddenly the bus swerved and then filled with the smell of burning rubber. yes, a tire had gone flat when the driver swerved to avoid a merging sedan. The driver slowed down as we rambled along to the next rest stop. fortunately, it was a mere 5 miles away. at the rest stop, we disembarked and tooled around the parking lot. After about an hour a pickup truck delivered a new tire, it was replaced and after a two hour delay we were back on the road. it was not a particularly pleasant experience, but everyone took it in stride and the driver was very friendly, funny, and amusing. I decided I would make a concerted effort not to let the unavoidable mishap affect my future bus company decisions.

then last week, when buying my ticket for this weekend, i went straight to apex. i booked the ticket, and arrived at 88 e. broadway on time. as usual, we left about an hour late, but that was to be expected. however, about 4 blocks into the trip, the bus suddenly began to reek of feces. as i looked around everyone was straining not to make a face. i, and my seatmate as i learned later, thought it was just the stoplight at which we were stopped. but as the light turned green and we continued, the smell remained. people started to buzz about it. a young man stood up and announced that he had gone to use the restroom, but the seat was covered in poop. he had accidentally gotten it on his pants. now it was on his seat as well. so the troops sprung into action. the guy was offered a pair of pants to change into. he was given anti-bacterial waterless soap. we covered the seat in newspapers. perfume was sprayed. the overhead shafts were opened. it became somewhat bearable.

at the third or fourth rest stop avaliable, we stopped, disembarked, and the bathroom was cleaned, or simply shut. its hard to say. the unfortunate young man used the rest stop bathroom to clean himself up more. the seat was sprayed more. the faint aroma of feces still hung lightly in the air, but it was bearable. unfortunately, the bathroom was officially off limits, so a stop was required every hour or so. which turned the 4 hour bus ride into one that was 6 1/2 hours. But eventually i arrived in dc. made it to dupont, and met my parents.

but the unfortunate day did not end there. after changing out of my traveling (pajama) shorts, we went in search of food. we settled on a little italian place called La Tomate where instead of being served fetuccine verde e veggies i was served fetuccine verde with piping red meat sauce. with some switching of entrees and eating around shrimp, it was fine. until about 1/2 way through the meal when papa h bit down on a piece of clear glass. he wasn't hurt, and we got our meals for free. i even got free tiramisu out of the deal.

today while serving myself a whole foods salad, i poured about 2 tbsp of balsamic vinegar down my leg. but it was far enough from my crotch that it didn't appear i wet my pants. close call.

but prior to my vinegary mishap, i did secure a cute 1br apartment in a lovely neighborhood. sure its a basement, and not particularly close to the metro, but its near the bus right to campus, near to georgetown and i'll have use of a little yard. and it has a dishwasher & washer/dryer. and i don't have to worry about it any more. those keys are jingling in my pocket.